Lost soul

  
Walking on a lonely street with a lost soul and the grace of moon, wishing this path can take us straight to you….

Dilemma of life

What you do when life brings you at the same situation after 16 years , obviously with a different person. Do you follow your heart or just do what you always do.Always thinking what’s best for your loved ones! It’s not fair just not fair , why you are at the same situation after a decade! 

What is it Allah(stw) wants you to learn from this! He knows me better then anyone. I will sacrifice it all, if it is best for my loved ones. Never thinking twice. But the problem is, it didn’t bring any good after I took that decision , it brought only myseries for the last decade. How can I be sure this time it will not have the same impact in life ! Do I have what it takes to go through this all over again ! Is my heart strong enough to bear this horrible sharpening pain I felt when I had to took that decision at the age if 16!

After that horrifying experience being married to a shychopath for 15 years, my punishment wasn’t enough! I agree I took the wrong decision but my Allah(stw) knows my intention was for only the best for my loved ones. I paid my fees for that mistake. Why do I end up on that exact same position again ! That’s just not fair , what I suppose to do now in my 30s!

They say you suppose to learn from your mistakes, so you never make the same mistakes again . But when it’s best for your loved ones, I know I will make the same mistake over and over again .. 

Please Allah(stw) help me, show me the right path, because you know me . I will go to that self distract mode if I have to , if it’s best for my loved ones..


Whoever my heart is searching for ,

Is that you who I keep running into.

Don’t know what just touched my soul,

That’s giving me so much light and hope.

Feels like a melody in the air,

What’s making me feel alive again.

I think I finally found someone ,

Like a home for a lonely drifter.
Whoever my heart is searching for,

Is that you who I keep searching for.

Found you on my safest side of the path ,

It’s like the dam of an ocean.

Don’t know what touched my soul ,

Like an antibacterial on my infectious heart.

I think I finally found someone ,

Like a home for a lonely drifter.

Eid Mubarak

  
Eid Mubarak everyone. May this Eid bring peace & blessings to you & your family . May All your dreams comes too, Ameen

And very happy for our kids fir finaly getting a day off from school so they can feel special , because it’s about time that we get a official day off for our Eid. Besides as a Muslim we only have two holidays in a year. I remember how my son used to be so sad growing up, he thought he didn’t matter, his holiday doesn’t count & no one even cares for it. Now, finally all the kids in school will know Atleast the name of our holiday. Happy Eid Ul Adha  ..

Why..


Why did you came so close and touched my soul,

Now you are making me feel lonelier then before .

Tears are making a parmanent place in my eyes,

All my pains are becoming sharper in time.

My trust are broken down like dry leaves of autumn .

Me and my heart were much better all alone,

Now we don’t know how to live without you at all.

In my heart loneliness buying all the lands, after one another,

Why did you came do close and touched my soul.

You..

Where can I find u, Where can I look for u,

Who can show me the way, to go through your path.

When can I see u face to face,

Where can I just start kissing u, like I have never kissed before.

When I will be so close to you, that I can hear your heartbeat.

When can I be always there to, Hold your tears before they fell down

When I will be so close so when u fell asleep I can put your head over my lap

When I will be so close that every time u touch me, u can see the red on my checks

when you will be closer to me, So I can smell you every breath I take.

Exactly when u will be just mine, So I can woke up every morning seeing your face..

Why is it..

Why is it in life the person u love the most, disappoints u the most. Why is it you always there for your loved ones but when you need them the most, they literally have no time for you! Why is it that everyone’s problem is important but not yours?your tears your sleepless nights doesn’t count to anyone ! There is no one in this world who actually feel pain when they see u in tears! Why is it everyone expects you to be there every time they need something, why is it You are the one who picks up everyone when they fell down? What about you …! In this big world there is not a single person that actually can do anything for u !as a single mother all alone in this big city with no money, no job, no family and friends whatsoever have to still do for others!

In good times there were so many people around you like bees , now the second you needed them the most , almost everyone leaves you ‘ They are scared thinking you will ask money or you will need place to stay.
Allah made us, His world is very big . He doesn’t need anyone’s help taking care of us.In your bad times they all r not with you, doesn’t feel pain in their heart for you then You don’t need them in your good times! Your good times will come one day inshallah and You don’t want to see anyone of them around you!

All my life I had trouble letting stuff go, if some reason I take something to my heart, I will never be able to let it go. No matter how many good things you do for me still inside I will resists you. The biggest problem I always have that I started to loose respect for that specific person , no matter how much I love them still I can never pass that one thing I took into my heart! If I start loosing respect then eventually I start to avoid them, stay far Away for them. I will still love them but I never can get that respect back! So yeah if you want me around your life then don’t do anything that I start loosing respect for you..,